Fire, flood, hurricanes, war, eclipse, earthquake. Lesbians.
Is God pissed? Is that why the earth is engulfed in human horrors, and humans are suffering what seem like unnatural disasters from wild fires to Mexico’s massive earthquake, to the benignly named Harvey and Irma, which sound like a TV couple from the 1950s.
Is it all happening because God is mad at us for being bad children? Again?
If you listen to, yes, the mainstream media, it’s now at least a question worth exploring — and opining upon.
Suddenly it’s not just the crazies, fringe and social media, apocalypse preppers and profiteering televangelists who talk about the End of Days and blame everything and everyone from gays to government for what they see as God’s wrath and the beginning of the end, it’s also the Pulitzer winners.
As Hurricane Irma, one of the strongest and most sustained monster storms on record, is leveling everything in its path, seemingly without end, opinion pieces are showing up on and in Fox News, the New York Times and The Washington Post about whether the apocalypse is upon us.
A current headline in the UK’s Express asks: “Hurricane Irma start of the end of the world? String of disasters ‘Sign of Apocalypse.’” Foxnews.com has a column by pastor Max Lucado, which asks: “Hurricane Irma is coming. Where is God?” And the New York Times? It didn’t go there, did it? Yes, with: “Apocalyptic Thoughts Amid Nature’s Chaos? You Could Be Forgiven.”
On social and mainstream media, Luke is about to replace the Kardashians as a current pop icon. The quote, “There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea.” (Lk. 21:25, NIV) is being touted as proof that we’re about to buy the farm .
Those who don’t claim it’s God’s fault are blaming the government, which they claim is deliberately causing all the natural disasters in order to promote the liberal agenda. No, I swear.
Hideous InfoWars founder Alex Jones believes the U.S. government has the ability to control weather, and as the Washington Post pointed out, wonders why our government didn’t “use the technologies to kill (the storm) out in the gulf.”
Funny? No. The President of the United States trusts him and his YouTube channel has more than 260 million views.
Anti-gay media darling pastor Kevin Swanson has the answer to who’s really to blame for the hurricane devastation visited upon Houston: Gays, the pro-gay mayor and the transgender bathroom bill.
Equally hateful Ann Coulter tweeted: “I don’t believe Hurricane Harvey is God’s punishment for Houston electing a lesbian mayor. But that is more credible than ‘climate change.’”
Maybe she’s right and God IS pissed. But if God is punishing us, it’s more likely because of all the hate we have towards one another. And that is as credible — and as real — as climate change.
LIE DOWN WITH DOGS, GET UP WITH ZZZZs
It might be too late for most of us, but medical researchers have just declared that we’re not supposed to sleep with dogs.
Unfortunately this warning was only issued for the canine variety, probably because too many of us humans (not me, of course!) already know firsthand the dangers of sleeping with two-legged hound dogs. Rotten sons a’ bitches.
Anyway, according to the September issue of Mayo Clinic Proceedings, it’s OK for dogs to sleep IN your room, but not ON your bed.
Like hosptial researchers know! No one in history has ever been able to get a good night’s sleep in a hospital because the staff wakes you up every five minutes to make sure you’re sleeping.
I’d rather be kept awake by a dog. The four-legged kind.
BANNON SPEWS FAKE CHRISTIE NEWS
Steve Bannon tells “60 Minutes” tonight that Chris Christie didn’t get`the White House gig he craved because he wasn’t “there” for Donald Trump during the Billy Bush “grab ’em by the p—y” debacle.
Right. And I like that extra 10 pounds I’m walking around with.
Sounds like Bannon, who himself got kicked to the curb despite his loyalty to the big guy, is engaging in — oh no! — fake news.
The former presidential adviser, who appears to have developed a pesky case of leprosy, had to know that Christie had been used by The Donald like a two-ruble Russian hooker.
Christie, at the time deep in the roadkill of Bridgegate, probably thought Trump was his ticket out of the gutter, only to find himself kissing the blacktop instead of butts at the White House.
Don’t believe Bannon’s blarney. It wasn’t about Christie’s lack o’ loyalty, but about disloyalty to the family after the fact. Christie, everyone forgets, nailed and jailed Jared Kushner’s father. You think Trump’s boy adviser would let Christie in?
Appointing Christie as the coveted U.S. Attorney would be as likely as Christie appointing Steve Bannon as his crisis manager.
Didn’t this bum already get the boot for sending the world’s most unwanted pix of the junk in his trunks to disgusted Fox female staffers? No. “Fox News Specialists” co-host Eric Bolling didn’t get fired until Friday! Oh, wait, sorry, was amicably parted on Friday.
What is Fox, the White House with all the fake resignations? Oh right. Yes, it is. And what was Bolling a specialist in? Sexting? Yes, again.
The show got booted along with Bolling for the d— pix.
Remember, delusional office freaks: Hell hath no fury like a woman porned.
HYPOCRITE LIMBAUGH HEADS FOR HILLS
Climate change denier Rush Limbaugh, who on Tuesday said that fake fear-mongering about Hurricane Irma by the media is “one of the fastest and best ways” to “advance this climate change agenda,” got out of Florida faster than climate change when Irma headed HIS way.
The hate-filled windbag, who has been fighting with NBC meteorologist Al Roker, announced he was getting the hell out of town and headed for parts unknown, which he said he couldn’t disclose for “security reasons.”
Like anyone is interested in his whereabouts when their own whereabouts and that of their families is at stake. Talk about a narcissistic gas bag!
The hot air coming out of his mouth every day is half the reason for the change in climate — the political climate at least.